


Dear Carnell

by aralias



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: April Showers 2015
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-21 02:14:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3673707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aralias/pseuds/aralias
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An advice column.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Carnell

**Author's Note:**

> Posting this publicly for April Showers (and because, unlike almost everything else I posted for AS, I kind of like it). Written in response to Elviaprose's thought that Carnell would write a really good advice column if he wanted to.

**Dear Carnell,**  
**I desperately want a super weapon that nobody else knows about. Please help.**  
**S**

Dear S,  
My advice is to find an incredibly talented scientist with an inferiority complex and then misclassify him as a lower grade than his ability merits. He will then perform above his already considerable ability, produce the weapon you crave, and run away from the authorities - at which point you can pick up the weapon and live happily ever after (unlike everyone else!). If you need more information, please contact me personally. I can definitely help with this. WARNING: if I do not get all the information I need this plan may fail.  
Carnell

**Dear Carnell,**  
**I fear that I am in love with a man I thought I hated, who has left me and doesn't seem to be coming back. What should I do?**  
**Lonely Out in Space**

Dear Lonely,  
I suggest you find him and tell him how you really feel. Unless there's some reason that this isn't a good plan that you haven't told me. If you're still worried, perhaps look back at your previous relationships and see if there is anything you can learn from how they turned out.  
Good luck!  
Carnell

**Dear Carnell,**  
**What mascara do you use?**  
**Jenna S**

Dear Jenna,  
It's all natural *wink*  
Carnell

**Dear Carnell,**  
**I'm worried that my boss is making increasingly irrational and dangerous decisions. I do appreciate that he's trying to do what he thinks is right, and I don't want to leave him, but really - pretending to be a bounty hunter to try and recruit freedom fighters? That's a VERY DANGEROUS scheme. And it's highly irrational! What should i do??**  
**Worried of Gauda Prime**

Dear Deva,  
First i'd suggest giving me fewer clues to your identity! Though it does help me to answer your question. Tell Blake to reconsider his scheme ASAP! I sense DEADLY DANGER afoot if he continues down this path. Also, tell him to beware of a certain man in black. I fear he is a little too invested at this point.  
Carnell

\--

"See!" Deva said, thrusting the newspaper under Blake's nose. "See, Blake! What did I tell you? This plan will lead to disaster!"

"Puppeteers have been wrong in the past," Blake said. He took the paper from Deva's hand, glanced at it, stared more closely, and sighed. "I'm more worried that you've given away our location to a known associate of the Federation. Are we going to have to move again?"

"Never mind about the move!" Deva said hectically. He stabbed at the paper with a finger. "Did you see? He used capital letters for deadly danger. Blake, you have to stop this-"

"Deva, he's working for the Federation," Blake said. "He only told you this was an awful plan to make us stop it. Trust me - nothing can go wrong. And besides," Blake said with a smile, "Travis is dead. He should really check his facts before he makes these predictions."

He threw the paper back on the table, and went out in search of the girl named Arlen.


End file.
